Today marks one year since being Dumped.
It’s been fine. It’s been sad. It’s been fun, and freeing, and eye opening.
It’s been lonely. But mostly not lonely.
It’s strange to feel left behind. Like other people are winning at all of life’s milestones faster than I am. Sometimes I don’t feel like a real adult because I’m not in a relationship anymore, and all adults seem to do is complain about their partners and their children.
But then I look at my house and my life and feel happy. And a lot of that has come from this year – feeling more secure in the friendships I have because I don’t have him to fall back on. I make more effort, because my friends are who I have.
I’ve proved to myself that I can attract people. I’m writing this as my phone pings with notifications from various dating apps. I can be attractive to others, and I can flirt, and kiss, and have sex with different people. But I also don’t have to, and that’s brilliant. I don’t only feel validation through my physical appeal to others.
I don’t miss him. I do miss him. I miss our ease and comfort. I miss our jokes. I don’t miss the responsibility I felt for his happiness and success. I don’t miss chasing him.
He’ll always be my first love. But he won’t be my only love.